Vacation! Or wait…

You know when you have an early morning flight on a Friday, and you’ve worked tremendously hard and long hours during the week? You know, when your alarm rings when it’s pitch black outside, no neighbours are up yet and you can barely open your eyes because it’s actually painful?

Then you think to yourself “oh, but I’m travelling somewhere today! I can always sleep in the taxi. If I don’t, I can always sleep on the plane. If I don’t, I’ll just sleep when I get there, and besides, I have a WHOLE WEEKEND to sleep!”. As that thought strikes you, all of a sudden it’s easy to get up; Adventure awaits.

No wait. That was before I had a kid. What am I saying? Sleep in the taxi?! That’s when the 21 month old vehicle fetisht will comment on every vehicle we pass on out way to the airport. “Bikicki! Buzz! Buzz! Blue buzz! Caaa! Deemolla!” (= Bicycle, bus, bus, blue bus, car, steamroller.) The worst part is that you have to nod, be cheerful and have a conversation about every vehicle or else he might loose the will to speak forever. I swear I’ve read that somewhere.

Best. Taxi. Ride. Ever.

Sleep on the plane? Are you insane?! We’re ON AN ACTUAL AIRPLANE! This is Igge’s opportunity to make that specific comment – the whole way to England. Except when coffee is served, then he focuses on finding ways to drink mine. Which leaves me two options; I either balance the cup out of reach of The Child and take sips when he doesn’t look, or I chug it all as soon as it arrives. Who doesn’t like a boiling cup of coffee, right?

Watching the airplanes. Always the best part of Igge’s vacation…

So, sleeping when you get there. Allow me to pee myself of laughter. My child isn’t only obsessed with vehicles, he’s also obsessed with animals. Have you ever driven from Edinburgh to Newcastle, along the coast line, over the hills? Animals and vehicles of all descriptions I just tell ya. Sometimes animals IN vehicles. Igge didn’t know where to look, where to point, what to say first! While he pointed at a herd of sheep and shouted at a container ship on the other side of the road, his minced meat pie laied blatantly in his hand for 2 hours before he crashed by overwhelmingness. The drive is 2 hours and 11 minutes, so I had 11 minutes to get some sleep. Yeah… No. Didn’t happen.

So overwhelmed by cattle, boats, tractors and helicopters that he forgot to eat his very English snack

A whole weekend of sleep? Let’s put it this way; where in the town where Shaun Vegaun grew up. We’re here for 3 full days. In those 3 days we’re supposed to meet everyone who my husband grew up with, including relatives. We start after breakfast and just walk from house to house like we’re a family selling botox in Miami. In this part of England, when somebody comes over, you make them a cup of tea. Never had so many cups of tea in a 48h period in my life. I think I might suffer from tea poisoning to be frank, if that’s a thing.

Conclusion: visiting family with Igge means no rest and huge social efforts. Personally, I’ve developed tea – tastebuds that can differ between Old English Breakfast and just plain old English Breakfast. At least I know now that there’s nothing wrong with my bladder control.

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