Swedish Summer – Umeå

City of birches, here we come!

Pre-Husband, I moved around a lot. Not like mooooved, I moved over weekends. All to try the weirdest bars, blackest night clubs and most hazy venues I could hear of. Then I met Shaun Vegaun and we rather went abroad together, either to discover (to us), new corners of the world, or to visit family. Around Christmas last year my husband declared that he has been to three places outside the Stockholm area, and he’s lived in Sweden for eight years. So here we are, in Umeå, the city of birch trees, as the first stop of our trip. Apparently I descend from the Swedish north on my biological dad’s side going back to the 17th century (which explains why I wear Converse when the snow is knee high and why I look fat but I’m secretly really strong), and before the 17th centruy we were Norweigan (which would explain my love for salmon and knitted sweaters). Besides that, Umeå has the oldest ski in the world in their holdings and a moose museum where you can buy moose cheese and kiss one if you pay for it. (Not sure if it’s moose prostitution or if they do it for charity.)
Anyways, today our Sweden trip begins and I’m super psyched about it! I hope husband Shaun Vegaun is equally psyched, especially since he’s paying for it.

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Baby and the Bee was keeping us company as usual

Igge is obsessed with vehicles right now; boats, cars, helicopters, remote control cars, the lawn mower… You name it – he’s gonna love it. So when I told him that we are going in an actual airplane, that’s all he’s been saying for the last three days. We’ll, he’s 17 months and talks constantly, in tounges. He probably forgets to breathe in between words, but go-gain (Swedish baby slang for airplane) has come up a lot lately. He refused to sleep last night,or, he fell asleep but woke up two minutes later shouting “go-gain!” followed by laughter. Vegan – Dad and I got no sleep what so ever. Finally we took the child into our bed which usually works ok, but this time I strongly suspect that Igge was practising being an airplane. He reminded me a lot of a swan taking off into the sky. No, no, not gracefully as in “Swan Lake”, I mean taking off as in a real swan – take off. If you’ve never seen it – look it up on YouTube. It’s hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

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Reading his favourite book in the window at our hotel in Umeå

As we landed and entered the arrival hall my sweet uncle came to great us. As we don’t see each other too often we hugged for at least 10 seconds, which is super long for me. (I usually hate hugs. Don’t touch me. Just wave.) It was also long enough time for Igge to somehow get out of his boogie and climb up on conveyor belt. Shaun Vegaun and I would probably not have noticed if it wasn’t for a random kid shouting “but HE gets to go on the belt!”. As those words were said I instantly understood that it was my child, turned around and yes, there he was. Sitting on the conveyor belt with a huge smile, doing his royal wave to the waiting crowd and politely saying “hej hej, hej hej”. Just as I was about to catch him he went”ouff ouff!”, jumped down from the belt and started chasing a poor dog the size of a kiwi.

We took the bus from the airport to town and Igge had an outburst because he wasn’t allowed to stand up in his boggie so he could watch the buses. He “revenged” me by looking at me as he stole toys and cookies from the pram next to us. We were all jammed and I couldn’t reach him, all I could do was watch. And nervously sweat. That other baby never had a chance. I’m just glad I managed to return it all without the mother spotting my obedient offspring. Toys that would never recover from this assault and three soggy cookies with bite marks in them but still – they were returned.

Finally at the hotel and my hubby had a little surprise for me. He knows how much I love a good view, so he had gotten us a room on top floor. As I’m writing this, the men in this household are having their beauty sleep and I’m seriously considering going out by myself for a sneaky smoke, a beer with strangers and a haircut. We’ll see.

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