One hundred and five minutes.
That’s the amount of time it takes to get the sausage dressed. Well, he might have the body of a sausage but he’s got the energy of the Duracell rabbit. He loves being outside just the same amount as he hates getting dressed. Therefore he lies on the floor like a muscular pile of super soft flesh, talking to himself (probably calling me both this and that in Babyan). My husband and I put on his especially made for babies woolly – underwear followed by the layer 2 woolly – underwear followed by sweatpants and a warm hoody.
Now time for the gloves, snowpants, duvet jacket, balaklava and the warm hat. Our baby hates wearing things over his head so when you put his balaklava on you need to be quicker than superman to follow with the warm hat and button it. If you leave an unattended window for 0.3 seconds everything will have come off again. I also suspect that we have made a quite common rookie mistake for first time parents; to buy pants and a jacket seperately because that outfit looked so cute in the overprized store, rather than buying a one piece overall which would be a lot, A LOT, easier to get on a baby. Once we start putting his snowpants on he realises how much fun this game is and begins to roll around like one of Steve Irwin’s crocodiles.
It takes about fourty minutes to get his snowpants, jacket and gloves on and we, the parents, are soaked in sweat, exhausted, haven’t dressed ourselves or even showered yet and suddenly we both suffer from lumbago. Oh wait, you need to put the 3 layers of woolly socks on before the clothes, or it’ll get too lumpy to get his shoes on!
Off with it all to start over and this time – begin with the socks.